Some of my earliest memories are filled with fear. I grew up in a home where violence was normal and alcoholism ruled our lives. My father was an alcoholic who regularly beat my mother and, at times, my siblings and me. As children, we learned to live on edge, never knowing what would happen next. Although my parents divorced when I was eleven years old, the trauma had already become part of who I was.

At nineteen, I gave birth to my son. I wanted to give him the loving childhood I never had, but I found myself in a relationship that looked far too much like the home I had grown up in. The man I was with brought more violence, chaos, and unhealthy patterns into our lives. Looking back, I realize I was repeating the cycle I had witnessed as a child because it was all I had ever known.

After my son was born, I reunited with my father for the first time in years. I wanted to know him as the man he had become and hoped there was still time for healing. Instead, alcoholism claimed his life. At just twenty-one years old, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to remove him from life support. No child should ever have to say goodbye to a parent that way.

As if that loss wasn’t enough, my relationship soon fell apart. I discovered he was having an affair with one of my friends. The separation that followed was devastating. I lost my relationship, my home, my job, and, for a time, I feared I would lose my son as well. Everything I had built seemed to disappear overnight.

On November 5, 2008, with nowhere else to turn, I walked into OASIS Domestic Violence Shelter with my son. I was terrified. I didn’t know what the future held—only that I couldn’t continue living the life we had been living.

Not long after arriving at OASIS, I learned that my mother was dying. It felt as though my entire world was collapsing. I was overwhelmed with grief, depression, and hopelessness. I couldn’t imagine how life could ever get better.

But the staff at OASIS saw something in me that I couldn’t yet see in myself. They didn’t just provide shelter—they gave me hope. They taught me practical life skills, encouraged me to believe in my own strength, and loved and supported me through the darkest season of my life. They helped me rebuild my confidence one day at a time.

When I left OASIS, I was able to obtain housing and begin creating a life of my own. For the first time, I discovered what independence felt like. I built a safe home for my son and spent the next eighteen years living free from domestic violence. Every small step forward became proof that healing was possible.

Life came full circle when I was given the opportunity to work for OASIS Domestic Violence Shelter. Serving the very organization that once saved my life has been one of my greatest honors. Every day, I have the privilege of helping survivors who are standing where I once stood—frightened, uncertain, and wondering if life can ever be different. I get to tell them, through both my words and my life, that it can.

Today, I have been blessed with something I once thought I’d never experience: a healthy, loving relationship. Five years ago, I met a man who has shown me what genuine love, kindness, respect, and unwavering support look like. He has been a constant reminder that healthy relationships do exist and that love should never come with fear.

My story is no longer defined by abuse or loss. It is defined by resilience, healing, and hope. Domestic violence did not get the final chapter of my life. Survival was only the beginning.

Today, I am living proof that even after unimaginable heartbreak, it is possible to rebuild, to heal, and to thrive.